Randoms

Sorry that I temporarily abandoned you my beloved followers.  Training has been busy, it’s like they think it’s a job or something, sheesh.  Kidding, I’ve been working my butt off.  But I’ve included the more interesting tidbits.

Chickens:  I hate them.  Alive that is.  They LITERALLY live in my front yard and have zero regard for my sleeping pattern.  These foul fowl (see what I did there?  Homophone, boom.) don’t just crow at sunrise like all good cartoons have taught me.  No readers, they will cluck cock-a-doo-doodle-doo all day and night if they feel so inclined.  If it was culturally acceptable, I’d punt one into a Guinness record breaking longest chicken flight.

Spanish hiccup:  Hanging with the nica family one night and I hear three LOUD chirps.  The dialogue was as follows: “what was that?  A bird?”

They casually reply, “No, it’s the ‘scorpios’.”

 “Scorpios?  Are there a lot here?”

“Si, there are many”

“Ay!  Dios mio!”

After a very awkward series of charades, I find out the ‘scorpios’ are these 2 inch long lizards that live ALL over our house.  They are also the EXACT same color of the concrete walls so I’ve been unsuccessful in capturing one on film for you all.  So, while they do make obnoxious noises, they do eat mosquitos so they’re ok in my book.

Spanish Win:  One night I totally started saying my nightly prayers in Spanish.  “Dios, muchas gracias para todo que me da: mi salud, amigos etc…”  Until I got to some difficult word and had to stop and say, “Silly pedro, God doesn’t speak Spanish…”

Eating:  I know I already dedicated a whole post to eating but I had to add these tidbits.  I literally ate back to back meals of 100% carbohydrates.  Potatoes, rice, and the dense corn tamal pisque.  I feel like I’m carbo loading to run a marathon (and therefore have started running again in the humid 80 degree weather.”  Also, knives don’t really exist.  So in the event I’m lucky enough to get something that need to be cut, I pick it up.  OH!  I almost forgot.  I do this all in a rocking chair without setting my plate on a table.  Impressive huh?

Tranquillo:  Everything here is much much slower.  Example, hammocks are very popular.  I cannot even begin to describe how awesome it is lounge in a hammock during the midday heat after eating enough starches to fuel me for a week.

Regalo:  The best way to assimilate myself into any different culture across the globe is done with one simple question, “I’m a huge fan of Barcelona, y usted?”  Boom, instant conversation.  A couple nights ago, I pulled this card and the daughter of the man I was talking to ran into the house.  She came back out with this and said “Regalo para ti”.  AWESOME!

Rain rain RAIN!:  I don’t think I can accurately describe how hard it rains here.  I live in a house with a zinc roof that is only 8 feet tall at some places.  It literally sounds like a war is going on.  I’m not sure if you can see it in the attached foto but you can physically see the rain POUR down.  It’s crazy.

Directions:  Reason #87235 why Nica blows my mind.  Directions and addresses.  Not a new or strange concept by any stretch of the imagination right?  WRONG.  In my town, there are none, zero, zip, nada street addresses.  Instead, and I’m 100% not kidding, this is how I tell people where I live: “North of the Catholic church and next to the artist Xiomara and enter through a gate made of wood and the house is in the back.”  Is this real life or the 18^th century?

Prized possession:  I thought you, readers, should understand what I consider my most valuable possessions here in Nica.  (Insert your guess here).  No, you’re wrong.  It’s not my laptop, ipod, or even bug spray.  In fact, I would not be able to live without my water bottle, ear plugs and flashlight.  Water bottle, because I drink the equivalent of lake Nicaragua every day and I’ve never seen the temperature dip below 78.5.  Ear plugs because it’s SO LOUD at night.  Between the chickens, dogs, music, rain, voices, fireworks, and tv I would not sleep without them.  And flashlight?  Well, you know I use a latrine right…?

That’s it for now.  I promise to include some of the actual work that I’ve been up to so you know your tax dollars are going to good use!