Nicaragua's public transportation

While I was traveling during Semana Santa, I contemplated the borderline insane transportation conditions I so thoroughly enjoyed.  I have devised a ranking system.

Physically touching 0 other people: my how the travel gods have blessed you!  You are lucky enough to have your own seat or are standing.  If the bus is moving causing air to circulate this is as close to “comfortable” you’re ever going to be.  Enjoy it because the next stop might be a pregnant or decrepit woman giving you puppy eyes for your seat.

Physically touching 1 other person: ok so someone is invading your personal space.  No big deal.  What’s a friendly knee touch amongst strangers?  Reading has become difficult and you begin to check your pockets/purse every 30 seconds to make sure you haven’t been robbed.  As long as they don’t fall asleep on your shoulder or noticeably try to sniff your hair, not a bad way to travel.

Physically touching 2 other people: well all semblance of personal space is now out the window much like my backpack last week (no joke, someone accidentally pushed my backpack out the window.  I had to yell and stop the bus, my passport was in there).  Odds are one of your new intimate neighbors thought that deodorant was an unneeded extravagance for that day or just hasn’t showered.  This is not an enjoyable way to travel, hopefully it’s over quick.

Physically touching 3 other people: alright this isn’t fun anymore.  It’s hot and you begin to wonder how the people grinding up on can become so large eating rice and bean while you’re still stick skinny (answer: parasites, amoebas and worms).  The chicken bus you’re on more resembles a can of sardines on wheels than an actual mode of transportation fit for humans.  Or even fit for the chicken for that matter.

Physically touching 4 or more other people: sanity and patience are on a string.  Most likely you’ve been standing for over an hour and there isn’t even enough space to give an exasperated sigh.  No joke, Michelle and I saw 2 random strangers embrace and hold on to each other because there just wasn’t enough room (she, in retrospect, may have been a prostitute but I’m sticking with my story).  Riding on the back or on top of the bus would be more comfortable and does in fact happen even though it’s illegal.